The King of Pop

I've been discussing Michael Jackson with an email correspondent, and the other day his title made me think of another "King of Pop" -- Bob Black, maker of Bob's Black Banana Pop. This was a fictional character and product, developed mostly by one of my brothers in childhood, with considerable input from other siblings and myself. There are no written stories about Bob; his is an oral tradition.

Bob's original Banana Pop was yellow and was marketed with the slogan "Like a fountain of gold." Later the spinoff product Bob's Black was developed and became so popular that it completely eclipsed the original. Bob changed his last name to Black to more fully identify himself with his product. Bob's Black was made with only the finest Bellyking bananas -- a detail that came from a dream of mine in which a supermarket offered four different types of banana, called John, Jane, Bellyking, and Native Kenjo.

The advertising jingle for Bob's Black ran as follows:

Like a fountain of crude

Like a fountain of crude

But less than a dollar

It helps you be rude

Like a fountain of crude

Like a fountain of crude

It's Bob's Nanner Collar

To drink with your food

This was derived from an earlier "fountain of gold" jingle, which in turn was based on a Pogo comic strip in which the characters try to come up with a jingle to sell Kokomo Cola, only to realize that it will only rhyme if cola is pronounced as collar.

More precious than gold

But less than a dollar

Most freshest and cold

Is Kokomo Cola

"It helps you be rude" was a reference to how drinking Bob's Black will make you burp. "Like a fountain of crude" was an adaptation of the earlier slogan, modified to fit a product that was black rather than gold. Thinking about it now, though, I'm reminded of the Flatt and Scruggs bluegrass song "The Ballad of Jed Clampett," which I used to play on the banjo. It was written as a theme song for the sitcom The Beverly Hillbillies, which I've never watched. The opening verse is:

Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed

Poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed

Then one day, he was shooting at some food

And up through the ground come a bubbling crude

Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea

After Yogi Berra came up in "That old 'Fire and Ice' sync," I searched for a list of famous Yogi Berra quotes. For some reason, one of these was on IMDb, where a sidebar suggested I might be interested in a list of celebrities that died in 2015 (the year of Berra's own death).

The photo accompanying that "Celebrities That Died in 2015" caught my eye. I thought she looked rather striking but had no idea who she was. I clicked through and found that she is an actress best known for her role in The Beverly Hillbillies.

Her surname, Douglas, means "black stream" and thus ties in with the "fountain of crude."

When I searched for photos of Donna Douglas, one of the first results was this one, which syncs with Anglin's latest bit of absurdist brilliance:

I guess that a soft drink that compares itself to petroleum is a link back to the other King of Pop, via the 1980s schoolyard rhyme:

I pledge allegiance to the flag

Micheal Jackson is a fag

Coca-Cola filled him up

Now he’s drinking Seven Up

Seven Up has no caffeine

Now he’s drinking gasoline

Note added: That Frankie and Johnny movie that Donna Douglas was in stars Elvis Presley (another musical "King"), and the poster has an Ace of Hearts and snake eyes.