A few times a year I check The Onion just to see if they've somehow become funny again. Not really, but sometimes I find something synchy. In this case, "Agriculture Secretary Demands U.S. Farmers Invent 5 New Melons By Friday."
Published: August 12, 2025WASHINGTON—Warning that America could not afford to fall behind in gourd-based innovation, U.S. Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins issued a statement Tuesday demanding that U.S. farmers invent five new melons by Friday. “Our nation cannot keep coasting along on the same old watermelons and cantaloupes forever without losing its standing on the world stage,” said Rollins . . .
Melons have been in the sync stream for a while now, most recently in Bill's cantaloupe dream published on the same day as the Onion article.
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