G-Eye Joe?

Is this what Jay-Z is getting at with his notorious hand sign?

Why "Joe," you ask? Shouldn't it be "G-Eye Jay"? No, he's Joe, too.

Or is the diamond shape just a reference to one of his other nicknames?

The first HOV "diamond lane" in the US opened in 1969, the same year Jay-Z was born. Coincidence?

Putting a more human face on corporate mascots

I think these all work. Look at those three faces and ask yourself which smokes cigarettes, which drinks a lot of beer, and which is addicted to weird cheesy snacks that turn your fingers orange.

Update: The thing about AI is that sometimes it goes horribly wrong.

Crack vs. menthol

White junkies prefer powder cocaine. Black junkies prefer crack. For a long time, crack-related crimes were punished much more harshly than their powder-related counterparts -- until it was noticed that this was totally racist. In 2010, President Obama announced that this "longstanding wrong," one of the many "structural inequalities that have held so many of our fellow citizens back," was being righted -- a belated recognition of the inalienable right of all people, regardless of race, to use the type of cocaine they prefer without fear of discriminatory treatment.

White smokers prefer smoke-flavored cigarettes. Black smokers prefer menthol. For a long time, both were freely available to paying customers over the age of 18 -- until it was noticed that this, too, was totally racist. This year, Antipresident Biden announced that, in a compassionate effort to "address health disparities experienced by communities of color," the type of cigarettes black people like would be banned, while the type white people like would continue to be freely available.

I don't have anything to say about this. Just juxtaposin'.

It is written in the Book of Thoth: Trump still wins.

When, in late October of this year, I posted on how the Rider-Waite Tarot accurately predicts the results of every U.S. presidential election from 2000 to 2020, it didn't take much chutzpah to declare Trump the prophesied winner of this year's race. Trump winning in a landslide seemed the only possible result, and I dismissed Biden as a soon-to-be-forgotten Walter Mondale figure. Even when the synchronicity fairies kept stubbornly bringing Biden to my attention (via Jay-Z, Dr. Seuss, Steve Martin, and Clickhole), I just couldn't take him seriously as a potential winner. ("I don't know why the synchronicity fairies are feeding me all this material on a man doomed to become irrelevant in two weeks' time," I wrote on October 25, "but who am I to kick against the pics?")

Now that the Media -- supported by their political arm, the Democratic Party -- have "officially" called the race for Biden, I'm going to stick my neck out and double down on my prediction. The Tarot has been 100% accurate in stating the winners of every other presidential election this century -- with the 0th trump predicting the winner in '00, the 4th trump the winner in '04, and so on -- and the 20th trump unambiguously says Trump. I stake my reputation as an interpreter of the Tarot on this prediction. If Trump doesn't win in the end, the Tarot is not what I think it is.

Let's go over what I mean when I say that. For those who don't know it, this is the 20th trump in the Major Arcana, called The Judgement.

1. Did you know that the word trump only occurs twice in the entire King James Bible? Both instances refer to the scene portrayed on this card.

In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed (1 Corinthians 15:52).

For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: (1 Thessalonians 4:16).

An aside: Obviously, the name Biden as such does not occur in the Bible -- but if we ignore spaces, it does: "Thou sayest, Lo, thou hast smitten the Edomites; and thine heart lifteth thee up to boast: abide now at home; why shouldest thou meddle to thine hurt, that thou shouldest fall, even thou, and Judah with thee?" (2 Chronicles 25:19). This seems to allude to Basement Biden's "sheltering in place" and to prophesy his fall after boasting that he has smitten the Edomites. (Edom means "red" in Hebrew, so the Edomites are the Republicans -- and I suppose everyone knows to which modern people the name Judah refers. Judah is of course also the same name as Judas.)

(An even-more-tangential aside: Looking for other 2020 names in the Bible led me to Deuteronomy 14:7, which reads, "Nevertheless these ye shall not eat of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide the cloven hoof; as the camel, and the hare, and the coney: for they chew the cud, but divide not the hoof; therefore they are unclean unto you." The camel, the hare, and the coney. This seems to connect Kamala Harris with another woman who came to prominence in 2020, Amy Coney Barrett, and to pronounce them both unclean. Does this presage some future treachery from ACB?)

2. The trump has a flag attached to it. Trump was born on June 14 -- Flag Day.

3. The flag has a big red cross on it. Red is the Republican color, and the cross resembles T for Trump. This is in fact St. George's flag, signifying victory over the dragon.

4. The angel has a full head of blond hair, with a touch of orange.

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What are we to make of the scene on the lower half of the card, which shows the dead rising from coffins which appear to be floating in the water? A few thoughts:

They could represent Trump voters -- defeated, "dead," and then with their fortunes unexpectedly reversed. The water could represent the Trump's claim that lots of Trump ballots were dumped in rivers.

Alternatively, they could represent actual dead people -- who, as we know, voted in record numbers in 2020! The problem with this is that they appear to be cheering for Trump, when in fact corpses appear to have voted overwhelmingly for Biden.

But perhaps they're cheering because they think they've won -- gotten rid of Trump. He's up in heaven, an angel, dead. Little do they realize that the day of reckoning is coming.

And what's that in the background? Mountains -- or an approaching tsunami?

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What about the prophecy -- which, believe it or not, I also take seriously -- that Trump will invite "Joe Camel" (Joe and Kamala) to the White House? I don't know what to make of that yet, but here's my best guess: The recounts and lawsuits ("Sue sews Slow Joe Crow's clothes," i.e. suits) and everything will not be completed by January 20, Biden will be sworn in, and Trump will peacefully "invite him to the White House." Shortly thereafter, the election results will be overturned by the Supreme Court, and Trump will be restored.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. The highway is for gamblers. If I end up being wrong, I will, as they say, eat crow.

(Cross-posted at The Magician's Table.)

My last chance to post a Biden sync before Biden becomes irrelevant

Yes, it’s like 3:00 a.m. in Taiwan, but this just came to me, and if I wait till tomorrow to post it, it’ll be too late.

In the unlikely event of a Biden/Harris win, you heard it here first: Clickhole called the race for Joe and Kamala almost a full year before there was even a Joe/Kamala ticket!

In fact, the Joe/Kamala candidacy may have been known as far back as 1992!

(Yes, I know the Tarot is predicting a win for the incumbent, but keep in mind that the Tarot is well-known to have a pro-trump bias.)