Friday, November 27, 2020

Satan doing what on a what?

I've been tagging some of my posts -- those documenting the ongoing convergence/apostasy of The Church Formerly Known As Prince -- with the label "Satan popping on the apricot tree." I feel this calls for some explanation, particularly (but not only!) for those of my readers who have never been Mormons.

"Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree," by one Georgia W. Bello, is a little ditty, known to every Mormon child, about how apricot blossoms (a common sight in the Mormon heartland) look like popcorn. It is sung with accompanying hand gestures of a rather straightforward sort.

When I was a missionary, there was a persistent rumor that there was an anti-Mormon video being circulated (most often attributed to Ed Decker, who stands out for his sensationalism even in this very sensationalistic genre) which showed a clip of children doing the "popcorn popping" gesture, slowed down and dubbed over with ominous music, and presented it as some sort of black magic ritual those nefarious Mormons teach their children. I have no idea whether or not such a video ever really existed -- it's not in either of Decker's The God Makers films -- but it was notorious regardless.

This inspired a mission friend and me to make our own (somewhat less) notorious recording: We sang "Popcorn Popping," but every time we came to the key word, we dropped down into our best Cookie-Monster death-metal growls and rasped out SATAN! instead.

I looked out the window, and what did I see?
SATAN! -- popping on the apricot tree
Spring had brought me such a nice surprise --
SATAN! -- popping right before my eyes

and so on. Our tape made the rounds of the mission, and thus it was that "Satan popping on the apricot tree" became local missionary slang for ridiculously over-the-top anti-Mormon claims -- something to which we very often had occasion to refer.

So what do I mean by applying this label to my own anti-anti-Mormon posts? In part, it's a self-deprecating acknowledgement that I am, after all, being a bit sensationalistic. I mean, I've been calling prominent church leaders servants of Satan for such minor infractions as talking about global warming, parroting fascist slogans (or is it antifascist? I always get those two confused), shutting down all churches and temples well in advance of any government compulsion, and -- uh, other trivial stuff like that.

Mostly, though, it's just a bit of gallows humor to keep my spirits up. It's just so very sad what's happening.

O Apricot Tree thou art sick!

1 comment:

A said...

You may at least comfort yourself that the Mormon Prophets have yet to stoop to the depths of Papa Bergoglio's kowtowing to Atheist Communism, along with worshipping Pagan Idols in the center of Christendom.

Skeletor, hieroglyphic-bearing arthropods, and the Judgement

Some unmanned untethered free association here. It's a constitutional right, after all. My last post, " Eclipse skull and crossbone...